A hot cup of Hoffee

David Hasselhoff is making a musical about his life. No, I'm not kidding. And I know you're thinking it must be in Germany, right? Wrong. It's actually supposed to open over in Australia, first, anyway. He's hoping to eventually end up in Vegas with it. I confess, I have a certain horrified fascination with The Hoff. Kind of like a bird watching a snake. He's so wretchedly, yet unabashedly terrible. Part of me thinks he should just lay down and die, or at least gracefully step away from the spotlight by retiring to Hollywood Squares' center square. But he continues to make these music videos that are so campy that you are transfixed with one eye while you fight the desire to gouge out the other one.

So the musical? Would I go? Hell no. I'd rather have my fingernails torn off one by one, each individually decorated with tiny images of Carrot Top, dipped in hydrochloric acid, and then staple-gunned back on my finger tips. But, if someone forcibly kidnapped me and plopped me down in a seat at a show, I'd probably sit there and watch it, with a frozen grimace on my face and a breath caught in my throat, the way you'd watch a train full of World Trade Center orphans crash into a short bus full of special Ed kids.

While I don't actively hate The Hoff, ( I think he's painfully irrelevant and lame), this guy thinks he's bloody Anti-Christ. Interesting theory. I'll try to keep an open mind.

P.S. This is what happens when you don't check your favorite blogs enough. Someone else already did it waaaaaaaaaaay funnier. Snarkywood pwns. nsfw language