Back to haunt me
I've got some skills. A few, really. I can type pretty fast, my thumb is somewhat green, I'm a decent cook, a good problem-solver, slightly crafty, etc. But there are a few things I'm just really not good at. There is one thing I've battled my whole life, other than my child-bearing hips and thighs, and that is my penmanship. To say my penmanship is consistent is to say that it is consistently inconsistent...and bad. I mean, it's not doctor's handwriting, but even when I'm trying really hard, it's still rather awkward looking. Plus, I never get all the way through one without messing up a word and crossing it out.
When I was a kid, my mom spent I don't know how much on personalized stationary, notecards and envelopes. Really nice, sassy little stuff, mostly for the purpose of me writing thank you notes. For the record, no matter how much I hated it every bloody second of it, I'm glad she did it. I dreaded birthdays and Christmas every year because I knew that for every gift, I was going to have to write a thank you. I spent untold hours sitting at the kitchen table, while my mother flitted around the kitchen making dinner or a pound cake, and dictated to me what I was to say. And not a one ever was finished without some big scratched out words or ill-formed letters. Thankfully, I'm not dyslexic, so the letters weren't backwards or anything, they were just...ugly. For every second I hated writing thank you notes, I have realized, now that I'm grown up and sending presents to people, how nice they are. You want to know if they got it, and if they liked it. Even if it's just a polite response to a gift they despise, it's nice to get.
The whole point of this rant is to get to the present. My mother is getting remarried on Saturday. This Saturday. I've searched high and low for a gift for her and my stepfather to be. He's got everything and she's quite picky. What do I do? Well, I'm reading a poem during their ceremony, Shakespeare's Sonnet 116. I figured, wouldn't it be cool if I could find a nice print of it and get it framed? I scoured the internet. Nothing. Then I considered the idea of a calligrapher. I found a calligraphied copy of it for a decent price, but it was in blue with an ugly frame. My mother and I are not "blue" people. No, I don't mean like Blue Man Group. We are just not big fans of the color blue.
So! I contacted a calligrapher and found out that an unframed copy of it on commission runs around $250. Whoa. And that's unframed. No I understand homegirl's gotta make a living, but...geez! So I decided I'll attempt the impossible. I went to Michael's yesterday and got the supplies and a plan...to teach myself calligraphy in the space of five days and create a copy nice enough to frame. Honestly, I don't recall taking any drugs yesterday, but I must have to think this was possible. Me, of the atrocious handwriting, doing CALLIGRAPHY???!? That is just downright hilarious. So I sat down yesterday and copied and traced letters out of this little book I bought, and it's clear that this is just not a skill I will ever really have.
So what will I do? Well, I got my brother-in-law to email me some nice fonts I didn't have and I printed out a really nice copy of it in a font called Vivaldi, which looks just like calligraphy. The plan is that I will now trace over this onto nice paper and frame that. We'll see. My hopes are not high. Wish me luck.
When I was a kid, my mom spent I don't know how much on personalized stationary, notecards and envelopes. Really nice, sassy little stuff, mostly for the purpose of me writing thank you notes. For the record, no matter how much I hated it every bloody second of it, I'm glad she did it. I dreaded birthdays and Christmas every year because I knew that for every gift, I was going to have to write a thank you. I spent untold hours sitting at the kitchen table, while my mother flitted around the kitchen making dinner or a pound cake, and dictated to me what I was to say. And not a one ever was finished without some big scratched out words or ill-formed letters. Thankfully, I'm not dyslexic, so the letters weren't backwards or anything, they were just...ugly. For every second I hated writing thank you notes, I have realized, now that I'm grown up and sending presents to people, how nice they are. You want to know if they got it, and if they liked it. Even if it's just a polite response to a gift they despise, it's nice to get.
The whole point of this rant is to get to the present. My mother is getting remarried on Saturday. This Saturday. I've searched high and low for a gift for her and my stepfather to be. He's got everything and she's quite picky. What do I do? Well, I'm reading a poem during their ceremony, Shakespeare's Sonnet 116. I figured, wouldn't it be cool if I could find a nice print of it and get it framed? I scoured the internet. Nothing. Then I considered the idea of a calligrapher. I found a calligraphied copy of it for a decent price, but it was in blue with an ugly frame. My mother and I are not "blue" people. No, I don't mean like Blue Man Group. We are just not big fans of the color blue.
So! I contacted a calligrapher and found out that an unframed copy of it on commission runs around $250. Whoa. And that's unframed. No I understand homegirl's gotta make a living, but...geez! So I decided I'll attempt the impossible. I went to Michael's yesterday and got the supplies and a plan...to teach myself calligraphy in the space of five days and create a copy nice enough to frame. Honestly, I don't recall taking any drugs yesterday, but I must have to think this was possible. Me, of the atrocious handwriting, doing CALLIGRAPHY???!? That is just downright hilarious. So I sat down yesterday and copied and traced letters out of this little book I bought, and it's clear that this is just not a skill I will ever really have.
So what will I do? Well, I got my brother-in-law to email me some nice fonts I didn't have and I printed out a really nice copy of it in a font called Vivaldi, which looks just like calligraphy. The plan is that I will now trace over this onto nice paper and frame that. We'll see. My hopes are not high. Wish me luck.
posted by Connoisseur of Human Folly | 7:41 AM
3 Comments:
First of all, I've known you forever and you don't have poor handwriting. Calligraphy isn't THAT difficult (albiet it's still quite tricky) if you take the time to practice. But 5 days...I'm rooting for you sister. Nana K will love anything you do as long as it's from the heart. Where is she getting married?
Thanks for the support and outright lies! She's getting hitched up in Clayton. Very small ceremony.
Heh.
I have horrible penmanship. A couple of grades we were given letter grades for handwriting and I'd get a 'C' because the teacher would feel sorry for ruining my steady stream of 'A's. I feel your pain. I love the computer age. Give me a keyboard anytime!
Post a Comment
<< Home