Chicago!

So last Thursday I flew out at the buttcrack of dawn for Chicago. My brother in law and his wife, also my very bestest friend, live there and I just couldn't wait. I ended up sitting on the plane next to people I knew, which was so crazy wild. The trip was a birthday gift from my inlaws, as they were also due to fly up the next day. But why was I going a day early?? Good question! The reason was that my very favorite author of all time was doing a book signing there.

And how excited was I? I was like a teenybopper in Ed Sullivan's audience the night the Beatles played.

Yeah. Like that.

I even wrote her a "thank you" note, saying how her books entered my life during a very formative time when I was becoming the person I would be for the rest of my life. She inspires me and entertains me at the same time. She kicks unfathomable amounts of ass. I even made t-shirts for us to wear to the signing. That's how big of a freaky fangirl I am.

So the book-signing was awesome, and if I wasn't me, I'd hate me. My girl, B, got off work at like three or three-thirty, but the signing started at 5 and was across town way out in the suburbs. Laurell K. Hamilton is a NY Times Bestseller, hundreds of fans expected, wristbands would be handed out in stages, so that the first to show up would be the first in line. We were so screwed.

But No!! We were not so screwed!

B went to a book signing a few weeks ago and made a friend! A friend who was supposed to come early in the day; she found out that yes, you could get more than one wristband. We showed up at the Barnes & Noble at 4:55PM. Like two hundred people were there, but Yes! The girl with the wristbands! Michelle was her name!! (Possibly now the name of my future first born). She was there and she gave us the green bands. Like I said, if I wasn't us, I'd have hated us. We were such bitches and we know it.

Everything was awesome. People came up and demanded I tell them where we got our shirts. I triumphantly told them I made them. Ha! They are originals!! (It was really strange trying to explain them to our family members who asked to see them, I told them they wouldn't get it, but they wanted to see anyway.) Needless to say, if you don't read the books, you wouldn't understand. It's like trying to explain "Chewie is my Co-Pilot" to someone who's never seen Star Wars. It means nothing to you if you are unfamiliar with the material.

So I've explained that we were such bitches, but really, how big of bitches are we? We managed to be like fifth in line. We were even ahead of the nice girl who got us wristbands. We are galactic-sized bitches. (Sidenote: Galactic-sized Bitches would be an awesome band name.) Laurell K was awesome, she did about a half-hour or so of Q and A, told us some interesting stuff about how her series has taken her in directions she never originally planned, and her characters keep surprising her. B got a pic of her signing my book, I was supposed to do the same, but I totally flaked. In my defense I was busy trying not to bawl and ruin my mascara, plus the only coherent thought I had was "OMGOMGOMGSHEACTUALLYTALKEDTOME". Surprisingly, when I handed her the thank-you note she asked if she should read it immediately. I was totally shocked that with two hundred people in line she would even offer. I told her it wasn't necessary.

We had totally expected to be at the back of the line and be there until like midnight. We ended up totally done by six thirty. We ate dinner at the Cheesecake Factory and went home, elated and victorious. Bitches, indeed.

The rest of the trip was awesome, we ate at awesome restaurants (I'm totally ruined now that I've had real authentic Mexican), real Chicago-style pizza, the third-best hamburger in Chicago, drinks at the top of the Hancock Building. I saw my mother in law, (only drinks Margaritas when she eats Mexican) take her first shot of Tequila and she hoofed it like a sailor on leave. She didn't even FLINCH. It might as well have been water. She winced more at the lemon slice than the shot. I was...floored, to say the least. We went shopping in this cool neighborhood, Lincoln Square? I think? Where we found some awesome and funky gifts for people. I got my first giant purse, this huge light green square satchel with gold and silver embroidery and studs. It's pretty cool. I feel like a Hollywood starlet. I just need a tiny dog to put in it.

The whole trip was great, plus I got some quality time in with my girl, B, who I adore more than words can say. If I didn't have her in my life, I think I'd be crazy. If not for her and Laurell K, I for sure wouldn't be the anomaly she calls me, I'd have caved in and let myself become assimilated by now and become a total fundie Stepford wife. I would have been an Anne Taintor lady but without the subversive text.