My cat is sick and I don't mean ill

My cat throws up a lot. A Lot. So much so, that I'm beginning think he likes it. Sick, huh? Now I know what you're thinking, OMG, what if your cat is really sick? What if he is slowly dying a painful death of multi-organ failure due to chronic ingestion of unknown toxins??!! The humane society is totally gonna put your ass in jail for negligent pet ownership, you heartless witch, yadda yadda. Yeah, I thought all that too, the first...ah...twenty times he ralphed and didn't die. Plus the fact that he's otherwise quite healthy and active. So my current informal diagnosis stands. He's an emetophiliac, either that or he's bulemic and just not very good at it.

What's an emetophiliac? Here's a little bit of info to file away in your "I didn't need to know that" file, as we all know there's freaky folks out there who like to do freaky stuff. Stuff to themselves, stuff to others. Now, I'm a "live and let live" kinda person. Whatever you, as a consenting adult, do with other consenting adults, in private, is none of my business. I could not care less. And, believe me, in my years of surfing the internet, I have heard about things I'd love to dig out of my brain with an icepick. Some of it is gross, and some of it is just plain downright silly. We've all heard of the biggies (especially if you watch CSI), shoe fetishes, furries, diaper fetishes, leather, corsets, etc. They may not be mainstream activities, but we've heard about them. Shoot, R. Kelly was caught on tape peeing on a girl. But what about the less common ones? The ones that make your brain seize up for a second while it attempts to process the sheer weirdness of it. For instance, there such a thing as balloon fetish. Whoa. And dental brace fetishism. Ew. Some people think being robbed is hot. And here's one for the mothers out there, unbirth fetish. Knock knock, your kid wants back in, ladies.

Speaking of things people want or do that makes your brain grind to a screeching halt, last night on Primetime there was a story about people who want to be amputees. Yes, that's what I said. They say they are amputees on the inside. Their inner child can't play on the playground, because it has no legs. I'm sorry, that was crude. Seriously though. It sounded a lot like the way people talk who have gender identity disorder, which most people have seemed to wrap their brains around now. The people on the show either have or fantasize about putting one or both of their legs in dry ice, forcing amputation. Yeah.

But I digress. I was talking about my cat. He ralphs. A lot. Yeah.